If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out

Lyrics of a song by Tim Minchin:

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world

of a single psychic who has been able to prove

under reasonable experimental conditions

that they are able to read minds

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world

of a single astrologer who has been able to prove

under reasonable experimental conditions

that they can predict future events

by interpreting celestial signs

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world

of a single homeopathic practitioner who has been able to prove

under reasonable experimental conditions

that solutions made up of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff

dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge quantities of water

have a consistently higher medicinal value

than a similarly administered placebo

And if anyone can show me one example in the entire history of the world

of a single spiritual or religious person who has been able to show

either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power

that has any consciousness or interest in the human race

or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices

or that there is any reason, other than fear, to believe in any version of an afterlife

I will give you my piano,

One of my legs

And my wife